Drowning

I regularly hear about all the trials and tribulations of having kids, from my friends who are parents. And of course I always half-jokingly (or maybe full-jokingly) make a comment that I'll just stick with dogs. Friday I went to lunch with a work friend and she told me about some of the stuff going on with her kids, and of course I made my typical statement....and then late that afternoon, she got a text from her son, something along the lines of "I'm ok, the cops are here, and told us we can't say anything right now." Of course, her first reaction was, "Ok, are you in trouble?"  A little while later I think he called her to tell her a little more of what's going on - while they were at the lake, one of his friends had gone under and nobody had seen him come back up. These kids are only 16 - so very young to have to die, or to have to deal with the death of a friend. I told her to keep me posted, and that I'd pray that they would find him soon. Some 40 hours later, they finally found him. I had kept hoping, Friday evening when she finally left, that they would find him playing a stupid prank and hiding from everyone. So very sad. He had in fact drowned - they found him about 40 hours later. The group of kids spent the weekend together, grieving. Last night there was a candlelight vigil for him. My guess is that he probably got a cramp or something. Drowning doesn't look the way it does in the movies - no yelling and waving the arms, slapping the water, etc. Be safe out there on the water!

From Wikipedia: 

"Contrary to the normal popularisation of drowning as a highly visible behavior, involving shouting, abrupt or violent movements such as splashing and waving, and visible difficulty—which is a related phenomenon, known as aquatic distress, which often but not always precedes drowning—the "instinctive drowning response" is noiseless and confined to subtle movements. 

While distress and panic may sometimes take place beforehand, drowning itself is deceptively quick and often silent. A person at, or close to, the point of drowning is unable to keep their mouth above water long enough to breathe properly and is unable to shout. Lacking air, their body cannot perform the voluntary efforts involved in waving or seeking attention. Involuntary actions operated by the autonomic nervous system involve lateral flapping or paddling with the arms to press them down into the water in the effort to raise the mouth long enough to breathe, and tilting the head back. As an instinctive reaction, this is not consciously mediated nor under conscious control."  

...be present...

I've practiced yoga for years, and one of the hardest tenets is to be present in the moment. Don't think about the future, don't focus on the past, but just be in the moment. So very difficult but I think when you are able to do it, then life is so much more...enjoyable. Because you are not thinking about what you need to do tomorrow (or even later today) or fretting about something that you did yesterday (or an hour ago). You are noticing the NOW and everything with it. Even trying to take pictures takes away from the moment....though we are all guilty of wanting the perfect photo to remember by. 

I think part of this practice is to also notice how you are feeling in each moment, and how (or if) it is serving you. If someone is saying something to you and you are feeling negative (or having a negative reaction), perhaps you should stop, take a moment, and consider what it is that is making you feel this way, why, and where the other person is coming from. Because you can change how you react. I feel like many of us react before really considering what is going on, which can then make the other person defensive and then any further discussion is ultimately not very fruitful. But if you are in the moment, maybe you take a few seconds to digest what they have to say, can maybe see why they are saying it, and can have a more positive or more productive response which may lead to better results. This too is difficult because I feel like we have become so addicted to instant gratification - and I saw a quote recently too that states it perfectly: "We do not listen to understand, we listen to reply." As someone is speaking to us, instead of being present in the moment, we start analyzing what they are saying, and - more so - we are preparing our response...but without truly and completely listening to them. 

These are habits or practices that I am by no means an expert at, but that seem to me to make sense to make life just a little bit better.

Fear

What am I afraid of? 

Oh, the usual things, I suppose.

Spiders. 

Snakes. 

Creepy crawlies. 

Bird poop.  

Losing a close family member (or any family member really, or any loved one). 

Loss of my dog - I know she's "just" a dog, but she is my baby. 

Failure.  

Financial instability.

Saying too much, or the wrong thing.

Not saying enough.

Tornadoes.

Burning my house down. Seriously. It's taken me this long to finally use a crockpot, and I still worry.

Days 6 through 10...

This whole "100 happy days" thing is hard to keep up with! Ergo, here are Days 6-10:

Day 6: When a cheesecake (or two) and gas money can take care of air conditioner issues.

Day 7: Dancing so much I done broke my dancin' shoes

Day 8: One content little dog, during the spring, thoroughly enjoying the new front door. And keeping an eye on the neighborhood.

Day 9: Getting awesome fortunes from fortune cookies :)

Day 10:  A last-minute, unexpected invite out for a night of much-needed laughter. 

What do I do?

The task for this post is, if you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question "what do you do?"  

Hmmm... a toughie. And given that this is a standard "small talk" question, a "getting to know you" type thing, difficult to answer when you can't just say, "Oh I work for a _________ company doing __________."  

So what do I do?

I take care of my dog. And sometimes my parents' dog. 
I practice yoga. And sometimes meditate.
I try to eat healthfully and deliciously - sometimes the two are not the same. :)
I drink wine. (and beer, and cocktails...but preferably wine, as I get older.)
I try to be a good friend/sister/cousin/niece/daughter.
I laugh. Not as much as I would like, but I do enjoy when I do.
I definitely overanalyze. It's part of what makes me good at what pays the bills. But it can be rough on other aspects of my life.
I try to live in the moment - often difficult (see above). 
I work at being happy and content, and focusing on the positive rather than the negative (it's so easy to get pulled into that pit of negativity). 
Sometimes, I cook. And bake. And occasionally I share the results with others.
I travel - though not as often as I would like, and there are so many places that I want to see, and not enough time or money to do it. But my vacations have been awesome. :)
I read. A lot. 
I love to learn new things. (But I hate those "life lessons" that always such but apparently build character ;)
Occasionally I try my hand at being artsy-craftsy.
I try to grow a bit each day to better myself. Sometimes that's through yoga/meditation, or through the people I interact with, or something I read...but betterment of self is always a goal.


Have a lovely day!

Who do ya love?

You can't choose your family (though mine is pretty stinkin' awesome, in general), and your friends are the family you choose. I have happened upon some pretty stinkin' awesome friends who are part of my family now, and tonight showed me just how much.

I've had a bit of a rough week and went to my yoga studio tonight hoping that a class would help. One of my friends, Cathy, noticed when she arrived for class that I looked upset, that something was really bothering me. As did some of my other friends, though they didn't truly realize how much until after class. So during class, i could tell I was taking things personally that were DEFINITELY not any kind of personal attack, not even remotely so. And after class I just boogied right on out of there after putting away my props and gathering my stuff. Cathy managed to catch me on my way out the door, and we chatted a bit on the way to the elevator (and bless her heart, she rode with me too, since I have pissy knees that can't do the stairs right now). By the time we got to the ground floor (which was all of about 30 seconds, since we were only on the 2nd),  I was teary. Then my friends Elizabeth, Terri, and Suzie joined us, and all helped me so much. I have needed to cry for so very long - that good cry that is so cleansing. But as a single woman, I have always felt like I have to put up a strong front - "I am a strong and independent woman, and can do it all!" so I can't even remember the last time I cried. I still didn't get that full-on ugly cry (like I'm pretty sure I need to) but I did get a little out, and I hope by tomorrow I am feeling better. I love these ladies, and obviously I feel safe enough to be vulnerable around them. Not to mention such words of wisdom, as I approach my 40s and the hormonal changes that will inevitably occur with the 40s (if not sooner).  

Namaste. And may you have such wonderful friends as these that I have found. 

I love my dog :)

Day 5 of 100 Happy Days (I have a feeling this theme will contain a LOT of dog pictures, so be prepared :):

July 5th recovery from the stress of the neighborhood fireworks:

"I love..."

A favorite quote from one of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally:

"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." 

(hahaha another favorite quote? "I'll have what she's having..." from the famous diner scene)

It's a favorite movie because, I suppose, it shows that people can become friends, that there really is a man out there for me, and it may even be someone I already know (though I kinda doubt that part, but who knows?). I love the quote - I love the scene - because after some 12 years of running into each other and becoming friends and having a big fight and not speaking...after all this life, he realizes that she really is the one for him (oooh, sorry if I ruined it for anybody ;) I guess it gives me hope. I so SO love this movie. Even though it's (egad!) over 25 years old....it just never gets old.

Discomfort...

I am terrible at flirting. I always have been. Apparently what I consider just being friendly comes across sometimes as being flirtatious and interested. And it's also difficult for me to ascertain when i'm being flirted with - because, again, I'd probably see it as someone just being friendly. So then I just get kind of uncomfortable - more so if I start thinking I'm being flirted with. And now that it's been a very very verryyy long time since I've even dated, I'm even more uncomfortable in those situations. I am seriously out of practice. And honestly, I don't even know that many single guys that I'd hang out with  - all of my single guy friends got married (or are soon to be). I had a housewarming party a few years ago and I got a bit embarrassed when a girlfriend showed up and asked me where the guys were. Holy cow, I don't know any anymore!! (Not any eligible bachelor types, anyway). Since then I've been sensitive, maybe hyper-aware, that I don't really have many guy friends any more - at least none that are not married or otherwise in a serious relationship. Gadzooks! If you want to really make me squirm, start talking about how awesome I am and that I should be doing "X" and "Y" to find a man. UGH. And over the years I've tried to just take it all in stride...I appreciate that you are concerned for my happiness, I really do, and I might even love ya for it....but holy moly, let's talk about something more constructive - like wine. ;)


On a completely different note: 100 happy days Day 4: Memories of the best shaved ice ever! (and the specific flavor? strawberry cheesecake with cream- delish!!)

Oh yeah...

Day 2 of "100 happy days": Painting with a Twist with a friend and some wine. :) 

And Day 3: Having friends who are creative and artsy-craftsy has given me more confidence to try that myself. :)

I'm good at...

So I admit, I'm kinda following a "post a day" thing so I can have some suggestions to get my brain working.

Today's post is explaining something I know a lot about, or something I'm good at.

Several years ago I went to a career counselor, and what was interesting was that she could tell that I'm very detail oriented and I like to work with my hands. Detail oriented makes me good at what gives me a paycheck; working with my hands is what I do on the side - a massage therapist.

I think often people are afraid of massage - face it, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position (naked or mostly so, under a mere bedsheet) and essentially at the mercy of the massage therapist. Or they think of it as intimate - which, ok, it is, but not in a sexual way. (at least not for the legitimate of us.) Believe me, the first time I went to a massage therapist, I went with a girlfriend to a male therapist and we were in the room together, getting massaged one at a time. He was completely professional and very very good. After that I was more comfortable going on my own. But I have friends who are creeped out by the very idea of anybody giving them a massage (though apparently a sports massage doesn't freak them out). My preference? None really - overcame many of those fears when I myself went to massage school and we all worked on each other. I've been worked on by both men and women. If you go to a spa and do some sort of package, though, consider what all is involved in the package and if you would feel comfortable if a member of the opposite or same sex worked on you.

However, let me just tell you - that massage therapist is working to make you feel better, whether just to find relaxation, work out some knots and trigger points, or assist with recovery from injury. TELL the massage therapist if you have any concerns. TELL the massage therapist if whatever they are doing does not feel good. For example, years ago I went to a massage therapist but for whatever reason, I did not feel comfortable telling her that the amount of pressure she was using was not near enough. As a result, I felt like I did not get the massage that I wanted--not that it was a bad massage, but for my preferences I'd call it a weak one. And I should have told her that I was really uncomfortable with her playing with my hair - straight-haired people really seem to enjoy that and find it relaxing, but I think generally curly-heads like myself find it stressful because it can make our hair poofy and bigger. I still felt somewhat relaxed at the end when it was over, but in hindsight it really could have been so much better had I spoken up. When I work on my own clients, I always tell them up front to tell me if anything doesn't feel good - if the pressure is too much, or not enough - and ask them if they have ever experienced some technique during a massage that they did not like. Because some people like a lighter-touch massage, and others like a pretty darn firm one, some people feel some benefit from various pressure points or tapotement (think karate-chop massage as often seen in the movies). So do not be afraid to tell them what you like or don't like!

In a Nutshell...

I was born in the Great White North, but my family moved to the much warmer state of Texas when I was 3. I grew up in the town that the book and movie (but not the TV show, not really) "Friday Night Lights" is about. Yah. High school football forced upon one starting at a very young age. I played piano for three years, violin for one, and French horn for 6 (and cornet for about 5 minutes). I haven't played any instruments in over 20 years, and I miss it. Going to the symphony now makes me emotional because of that. I'm a huge fan (and loyal alumnus) of Texas Tech (and our current football coach, if you must know).  After graduating from college aI moved to Austin and have been here ever since. Humidity and all, I love it here - though there is so much to do here and I don't often do much of it, I love having the option. A little over 12 years ago I got myself a puppy - a sweet little miniature pinscher named Hannah. I love her dearly, and though she's getting older and a bit stiffer, she still acts like a younger dog and always makes me smile. I have an adorable nephew on the West Coast (and an awesome brother and sister-in-law). I have a great relationship with my parents. I've never been married though I don't count it out, but just haven't found the right guy and the last few years haven't looked very hard for him either. 

It's been awhile...

QUITE a while, actually. I have been so busy with Life that this has totally fallen by the wayside. Vacations and anything else interesting has not made it on here. So, in the interest of improving my writing (and typing!) skills, I'm going to start blogging again. 
I tried to look up those "blog a day" challenges to see if that would work for me...I'm not sure. I'll see. I'm kind of intrigued by the #100HappyDays thing....I actually thought when I saw a distant cousin constantly posting with that hashtag that he was Seriously In Love and waiting on his Beloved to get her visa and come back to this country. I didn't realize until...yesterday, I think...that this was actually A Thing. So...maybe. But that's simply a photo, right? No actual writing necessary. And I want to write.

For the last several months I've been in a new job that doesn't require a whole lot of writing or typing - and what little it does is repetitive and very dry. And it ties me even more to a desk all day than I have ever been. Thus, I need to regroup and remember my goals for 2014: to regain a consistent yoga practice, to move more in general, to declutter my house/life, and to pay off some things and add to my savings. 

Yep, got a bit away from that. Tends to happen when your entire life gets disrupted thanks to the air conditioner deciding to quit. THAT is NOT a good thing, especially when one lives in the great state of Texas...and it's summer. Granted, this summer has not yet been super hot - it's only been in the 90s so far (believe me, that's not truly hot...we are just starting to be in the mid 90s regularly, and I hope and pray that our triple-digit-temperature days are kept to a minimum this year). So I've been incredibly thankful that I have family nearby that my dog and I can stay with when such things happen, and friends who know how to fix such things. 

On another note, here is my first post (and no, I don't think I'll be hashtagging anything - so not a fan of that, though I do occasionally give in): 100 Happy Days: My little dog makes me smile every. single. day. I love her!