Compartmentalization.

Last week, while I was on a business trip, I received some very sad news; a younger family member had unexpectedly died. I had just gotten to my hotel when I got the news; I had been trying to talk myself into going out to eat and for some reason could not get excited about it. Guess my intuition was trying to tell me something. I ended up ordering room service (not bad, but it of course ended up just sitting heavy on my stomach because of the sadness).  The member of my extended family had been a kind, funny, handsome man and wonderful father. Since I was on a business trip, though, I couldn't really mourn. It took all evening to process the news, and file it away to grieve later. That's not to say I wasn't sad - I was horribly, terribly sad, and my heart was so heavy - but there was nothing I could do but to keep that branch of my family in my thoughts, in my prayers, and chug along until I got home and/or learned of the service arrangements.

Yesterday I saw the obituary. It hit me then, it really did.  I had already made plans to go to the memorial service later this week, and so had that in mind while I worked to get through the next few days on the job. I've been able to talk about it a little while at work - again, compartmentalizing so I can maintain a level of professionalism with, say, my supervisor - but when at home, it keeps hitting me. Which is fine - I need to grieve now so I can better handle the memorial service in a few days. (I do try to keep in mind that those who are closer to the deceased and grieving harder do NOT need to deal with MY grief...I haven't worded that very clearly but I hope you get my meaning.)

I generally don't let myself cry often - it's not pretty when I cry, all redness and such - plus I get a headache, my sinuses hurt and my eyes/contacts sting.  So I dislike it. But last night it really hit me - his death - and my sadness for his immediate family. I cannot imagine what they are going through, or what anyone goes through when someone unexpectedly and suddenly just...dies. And it just hurt me.

It's hitting me tonight, a bit. It's not really going to get any easier on me - I'm an emotional person - until after the funeral. But I am going to try to be strong for the family - because, as I said, they are dealing with their own grief and do not need to deal with mine.

Give your family members a hug. Let them know how much you love them, because you never know what tomorrow may bring. And remember too that you never know what may be happening behind the scenes.

[And just a side note/rant: There is nothing wrong with being strong, it does NOT mean that I do not have emotions and feelings and it does NOT mean that I don't express them...and I would seriously like to throat-punch whoever made "emotion" into the verb "to emote". That is the worst, most clinical word ever - and a friend who sometimes doesn't know when to turn it off once told me, when I had gotten teary and upset once, that i had done well to emote. I seriously wanted to kick her in the shin. If I am teary, if I am upset, don't fucking tell me how good it is to emote. Tell me to let it all out, that it's ok, something, ANYTHING but saying "emote" and clinicalizing my feelings and my actions/reactions. (Unless, of course, you are an actual clinician but even then, don't you dare say it to me.)]

Yo Yo Yo Yosemite

Given that I am a major procrastinator, I naturally did not “have time” to do laundry or pack until Saturday morning. I woke up early and was running around trying to get everything done, clean up the place a bit, etc. Apparently I’m too good, since by the time I finished with all the cleaning and the packing, I still had two hours before we were planning to leave for the airport. Damn I’m good!

5 minutes after we were supposed to leave, we realized that the dogs’ blankets smelled like anal glands. GROSS. We weren’t about to leave that for the neighbors to have to deal with for a week, so we threw it in the washer and waited until they washed and then were kinda dry. We ended up leaving the house 35 minutes after the planned time. Which didn’t really matter: there was no line at the airport so we breezed through bag drop and security, and had loads of time to wait for our flight. (We flew JetBlue—I highly recommend it! It was a nonstop flight, and each seat had its own TV. Awesome.)

We landed at Long Beach Airport, and walked out of the plane onto the tarmac, and then up the ramp and into the airport…through the airport and back outside to baggage claim. It’s a wee little airport, by the way. Brad and Trish and Tristan were there to pick us up and on the way to their house we ordered some dinner—a pizza and spaghetti and salad. It was all actually really really quite tasty.

Sunday we jumped out of bed, I repacked my stuff into the smaller bag (no way was I going to take my big suitcase camping for pete’s sake…I don’t know what everyone else was thinking, but I knew what I was doing. J

We loaded up the Tahoe—the reservation had been for a minivan for the 6 of us, but none were available so we got “upgraded”…which meant that one of the very back seats had to be taken out for our stuff, and someone had to be put in the other very back seat with no leg room and no foot space. Nice. Made a stop at Target on the way out, and we were off!

So my knowledge of California’s geography consists of : LA and San Diego are in the south, Sacramento is the capital somewhere in the middle, and San Francisco is in the north. I apparently had no idea that the entire state is desert. And the San Joaquin Valley is uglier than west texas BUT it has mountains surrounding it—they’re just very very far away. And it’s a huge valley. I thought we were never going to get out of there! Mom informed me that the SJV provides the US with much of its produce….we did see a lot of orchards and fields. Brad even asked me what one field was—I guess because I worked for an ag professor in college I was the expert. ;)

Fortunately we stopped in Bakersfield for lunch—at In N Out Burger—YUM. If you haven’t been there, you need to try it. It’s delish. I always have to have it when I fly out there—though usually I get it on the way from the airport. (There’s always one on the way to the house, no matter what!:)

We arrived at Yosemite, but instead of turning left to go check in, we turned right to go to the Mariposa Grove. Beautiful huge trees—though at ~300 ft tall, these are the “smaller” version of the giant sequoias. We wandered around admiring..and smack in the middle was a huge one they called the Grizzly Giant—one branch in particular was 7 feet thick! Another big one had had a hole cut out of it and a road put through it—Just wide enough and tall enough for a horse and buggy! Inside the hole people had carved their names and dates…one I took a picture of was from 1929, but I think there was one from the 1890s too. And the sap that had seeped was orange and glowed like lava when I took a picture of it.

We finally left the Mariposa Grove and headed to Curry Village to sign in. Unfortunately by this time it was dark, and we had a little trouble reading the map and figuring out where we were supposed to park and then find our tent cabins. Dad saved the day though and figured out we were in the wrong parking lot. J We found our cabins and got settled in, making sure to put scented stuff (food, toiletries, etc) in the bear lockers just outside the door.

The next morning I woke up bright and early, and what a view! Took some photos of the rock face right above, and then off to a quick shower to get ready for the day. We had breakfast at Camp Curry—I had a bagel—and off we went. We drove around the valley floor checking out all the beautiful vistas, and watched rock climbers climbing the face of El Capitan. It was really interesting—hard to see, they were so tiny—but interesting at least for a short time. Brad and Trish also pointed out a tree growing all by itself in a cliff face…amazing, but even more so when you realize it’s at least 80 feet tall! We stopped at Fern Springs, where we met some people who had brought their own empty water bottles to fill there. We then decided we were going to get the Glacier Point talk that night and see the sunset from there, so on the way we stopped and went on a ranger walk. We were a little late so we had to rush to catch up to the group, but we still managed to learn a lot, and at one point he had us get on all fours, ease to the cliff edge, and drop to our stomachs to look down. If we were standing near the edge and looked down, we were likely to get vertigo and fall over the edge. As it was we had to make sure and place our sunglasses and other loose items on the ground before we eased over to the edge. It was amazing! The walk ended at Taft Point where there was a railing set up so you could check out the view…and the USGS seal, which stated we were at 7503 feet above sea level.

From there, we hiked back to the Tahoe and drove up the road a little ways, and then found the trail to Sentinel Dome. This was quite steep, and on the way we saw evidence of bears—where they had scratched the bark of a tree. As we neared Sentinel Dome, I noted how much like Central Texas’s Enchanted Rock it was. Cool! J Brad, Trish, Tristan and I went all the way to the top; Mom and Dad stopped at the base of the Dome and enjoyed the views from there. Then, the downhill (and much easier) hike back to the car, and we headed the rest of the way up to Glacier Point for the sunset talk. Glacier Point has marvelous views of Half Dome and the rest of Yosemite valley at any time of day, but at sunset the sun makes Half Dome glow a beautiful rose. It was awesome!  Back to camp for dinner and bed.

Early the next morning, we heard a loud rumble. I had remembered hearing that we were supposed to have thunderstorms, so I assumed the storm had arrived. But when I peaked out my door, the sun was shining and the sky was blue. What had happened? I stepped out of my cabin and saw other campers looking up at the cliff face above us. There had been a rockslide! A number of cabins at camp curry had been closed and fenced off about 6 months or so before our visit due to a rockslide that had done some damage and caused injuries. Had that happened today? A couple from a neighboring cabin started following the “smoke” and I took off after them. Sure enough, huge boulders had fallen but had landed in a rock field just above the residential apartments next to camp curry. Fortunately no damage had been done, just lots of dust everywhere. Brad had joined me, and as there was really nothing to be seen other than the clouds of dust, we headed back to our cabins. After breakfast we went to Happy Isles and followed the trail. I believe that’s part of the Merced River (?); it had low water and lots and lots of rocks. At the end of the trail, we clambered on the rocks. There were also large fallen trees that crossed the river, so Brad walked out on one..and talked my paranoid, worst-scenario-thinking sister-in-law into joining him. Then once she was back on land, I walked out to join him, and our dad walked out on the one nearby. We saw some Steller’s Jays here, and of course squirrels. We headed back to the car and went to the trailhead for Bridalveil Falls, one of the few falls still running this time of year. It was still beautiful! I can only imagine the roar of the falls during high water. After the falls we headed to Tunnelview, a popular scenic roadside stop to get fabulous shots of the entire valley and all the major views. Then we headed to the Ahwahnee for a drink at the bar (it’s expensive…we didn’t want to spend a lot ;) and went back to Curry for dinner, where we had some visitors---in the form of raccoons and coontails. During our stay at Camp Curry they were showing the Ken Burns national parks documentary so we would go to the outdoor amphitheater, which happened to be right next to our cabins, and watch for a bit. This night, Tristan cuddled up in my lap to watch it while everyone else took showers and got ready for bed, and he promptly fell asleep. J So sweet.

Wednesday was our last full day in Yosemite. I had woken up early and was just reading in bed for a little while when I suddenly heard Trisha say, ‘Amy, close your door!” I thought, it IS closed! And then after a moment I peaked out, didn’t see anything, and opened my door. There had been a black bear coming to visit!! And now it was loping through the amphitheater. We saw rangers running past to look for it; apparently there’s one that had been a rather constant visitor, so if it was the same one they were going to capture it and release it in another area of the park. After such a rousing morning, we had breakfast and went to the Yosemite museum and Yosemite Valley Visitor Center and saw tipis and other exhibits pertaining to the Ahwaneechee people who lived in the valley, including a reconstructed village. The visitor center had information about John Muir, who was big in the movement to develop national parks (and was the founder of the Sierra Club), and they also showed a documentary called the Spirit of Yosemite. We then wandered around a bit doing a spot of shopping in some of the gift shops and galleries. Next we went to meet up for a bear walk with a ranger; it was a little disappointing because the ranger talk was quite elementary, juvenile, whatever. It was interesting, though, to see possible bear dens and such. The rest of the day we kind of wandered around, and then went to the Ahwanee hotel for a twilight nature walk; this was interesting, she based it on “scales”: from a wee little pine cone (2-3”) comes the huge mariposa trees (60 feet), like that. This naturalist was very interesting and I felt made up for the ranger who did the bear walk. J From this twilight walk, we met a couple and their little boy from Mesquite, so we invited them to Curry for dinner. They were a nice family; their little boy was quite a pistol. After dinner, we went our separate ways, and my family went out to the meadow to gaze at the sky. The stars were beautiful of course, but the moon was very bright so we didn’t see as many stars as we expected, but we did see the unexpected—moonlit domes and peaks! Absolutely gorgeous! We also saw a flash about mid-way up El Capitan…Dad flashed his flashlight in that direction, and the rock climbers flashed back. Very cool! J

The next morning, Thursday, was our check-out day. We loaded up the Tahoe, and checked out, and then went to the meadow to go on a ranger-guided wildlife walk. Also interesting and this ranger had props—she gave Tristan a bobcat pelt to carry—and we ended at the woodpecker tree, an old dead tree with so many holes in it, and each hole holds an acorn left by,--of course—the acorn woodpecker. They called this tree the Granary.J

After the wildlife walk, we headed out, back to the O.C., stopping again at Tunnelview since it was a sunny day. It was about a six-hour drive back, so we didn’t do anything that night but unpack, shower, and rest.

Friday we did more of the same—rest and recovery. Friday night we decided to go to the beach for a bonfire. We loaded up (two cars) and headed to Bolsa Chica State Beach, and staked our claim on a fire pit. Brad got the fire going, and we set up the chairs and used the beach umbrella as a wind break (it was pretty windy). Luckily the beach wasn’t crowded… Once we were ready to start cookin’, everybody got a stick (or unbent hanger, whatever) for their hot dog. Well. Everybody except me—I don’t eat the nasty things. I had myself a deeeelish PB&J. Yum! (Everything tastes better when you’re eating outside!) We hung out, walked down to the water, tristan chased and was chased by the waves, Mom looked for cool beachy stuff like shells and stuff, and I watched the waves and the sandpipers. The water was pretty cold, and with the wind blowing like it was, I wasn’t about to get in—it wasn’t exactly a hot day! Later after the sun went down we roasted marshmallows…absolutely a delicious evening. Brad helped me take pictures with my camera (as opposed to his fancy camera) of the moonlit waves. It was a very fun, very relaxing evening. The rest of the weekend was just relaxing and recovering—that was a very active vacation. J Sunday we flew back on JetBlue to A-town. Monday back at work.

Kickboxing

So...my brother has always been into martial arts. I remember being 4 or 5 years old and going to watch his tae kwan do class...of course, I also remember him practicing his punches and kicks...on ME. (Yeah, holding that pillow for him to kick into? doesn't provide much protection for a five-year-old against a 10-year-old! :)

Anyway, a few years ago, he found a type of martial arts that he really enjoyed (and that my sister-in-law enjoyed doing with him). In Houston, they practiced Kuk Sul Won, a Korean martial arts; upon moving to California, they found a similar martial arts called Hapkido. They are currently both purple belts and are working toward an eventual goal of being black belts. (Very proud of them! The 'Phew too is also a striped yellow belt in the Little Ninjas program...he totally loves it! Ay-yah!)

So...my brother has always been quite enthusiastic about martial arts and has always wanted me to give it a try--he thinks I would really enjoy it. (I, on the other hand, think I would feel silly, what with all the yelling and sparring and hitting of other people and whatnot.) A few years ago we made a deal--as I have been a yoga practitioner for nearly a decade, I told him that if he would try yoga, I would then try some form of martial arts. He agreed....

Suffice it to say that he has yet to attend a yoga class (I even searched online and found an Ashtanga Yoga studio in his city!) and so I have yet to attend a martial arts class. Oh well....however, I have now come closer to upholding my end of the bargain than he has!

After being here in southern California for about a week this Christmas, and eating lovely things from the bakery their friend Tara works at, I really felt a need for a good workout (gotta burn off at least a few of those calories!). Since their Hapkido studio (dojo?) was open yesterday, they decided they wanted to go to a class. My lovely sister-in-law, knowing that I was wanting a really good workout, called to see if I could get in to a Kickboxing Express class. And away we went!

For the record, I have never in my life done any kicking or boxing, especially not at a target (bag). Nor have I ever worn gloves or needed my hands/wrists wrapped prior to a workout. So even the wrapping and gloves were a unique experience, since my workout usually involves a medicine ball, running, and yoga. :)

Well, the kickboxing class totally rocked. I enjoyed the punching far more than the kicking because I felt very awkward and ungainly doing the high and low kicks--my brother tells me that improves with practice. With the punching, I found myself imagining the bag was someone I knew and I suppose maybe that's why I found myself punching a little harder than I probably should have. Sure was fun, though. And I can see why some women love it! Wow. And it was a HELL of a good workout! (and in only 30 minutes!) Whew!!

Afterward, I sat with my nephew and watched my brother and sister-in-law in their Hapkido class. (I had watched my nephew in his class the day before, by the way.) It was enjoyable to watch, but I still don't think it's something I would ever seek out to practice (tai chi, on the other hand...is a definite...maybe). However, if he should ever live up to his end of our bargain and go try a yoga class, then I will definitely find a martial arts class to try. But for now, it's not something I will actively seek out....I'll stick to my "boot camp" class and yoga. :)

But oh my Lord, I can think of certain days when a kickboxing class would have been just what the doctor ordered!!

Labor Day Weekend in Cali

I took an extended Labor Day weekend and went to visit my brother and his family in sunny Southern California. They thought it was super hot, but I thought it was pretty nice--of course, having just come from super-humid Austin, "dry heat" really feels so much better.

Brad and Trisha surprised me Wednesday night with a room at the Grand Californian Hotel at Disneyland. His boss had paid for two nights (for whoever wanted it...they had had a business dinner the night before at Club 33, the exclusive club that Walt Disney used to entertain at), and so they reserved a third night (Thursday) for super cheap because the hotel was apparently fairly empty. When you stay at one of the Disneyland hotels, you get "early entry" into the park (on certain days). So Thursday morning we got up early and got in to the park at 8.

There were hardly any lines all day!! Brad speculated that it was because the forecast was for 107 degrees, so everyone stayed home. The heat wasn't too bad, but I'm kinda used to it--plus it was a dry heat, which was easier to bear. The first ride we went on was Space Mountain, which was super cool and one of my favorites--Brad and I rode it twice while Trisha and Tristan got some fruit for breakfast. We got a really good picture of us---even cooler because we were the only ones on the car!

We went on other rides--they have annual passes and so have a good idea of what the cooler, more fun rides are. We went on Peter Pan, then we did Star Tours--which is a Star Wars video simulator thing, and which generally make me a little carsick--we did some Thunder Mountain mine train roller coaster, which was fun except that Trisha looked down and Tristan was barely in the seat. When we went on Splash Mountain, Tristan, Trisha, and I all got soaked, and Brad was the only one who stayed dry. Gosh, I'd have to look at a map I think to remember what all we rode. We went on Pirates of the Caribbean and the Buzz Lightyear Astroblasters ride. That was fun--and don't I look all serious??
The only ride we didn't go on that was recommended was the Nemo ride--it's a submarine ride, about 11 minutes, and Brad and Trisha said it was cool but even with early entry it was going to have a long line (like 30-40 minutes). So I opted to skip that one. After a while we crossed over to the California Adventure park and went on those rides---they have an awesome roller coaster (California Screamer, I think) that goes really fast. We went on another ride where you sit and it shoots up about 500-800 feet in 2 seconds--this one had "barf racks" around each person, presumably to contain the puke. In the pictures (hopefully Brad will post them somewhere) you can tell the before and after photos--I look pretty tense before and then afterward a big smile. :) We went on the big Ferris wheel--I had a death grip because some cars swing (including ours), and it made me a little nervous.

Then sometime in the late afternoon we went back to the hotel and cooled off in the pool, got dressed and had dinner and then went back in to Disneyland for one more ride on Space Mountain (me and Brad) and then the fireworks. That was awesome! Then I bought a couple souvenir shirts and we went back to the hotel and to bed. Whew. A full day. Lots of rides, though! And Brad kept teasing me that I wasn't really getting the FULL DISNEYLAND EXPERIENCE (read: hours-long waits in lines, etc). I'm really really okay with that.

The next day we checked out and went home to unload, then we hit the beach. Which kinda sucked because it was really windy and cold. But Brad got a little surfing in anyway. That night we had sushi, and we ate at the bar (rather than at a table) and that was really fun. And yummy. The sushi chef was hitting on Trisha, and she finally told him that I was single, so he started focusing on me. It was pretty funny.

Saturday we had to get up early to go dolphin/whale watching. That was fun--we didn't really see much, just a couple of very small pods of dolphins, but it was really fun being on a catamaran and being so close to the water. Seriously, I think we could've touched the dolphins.
That night we went to their friends' house and had Greek food for dinner (and Brad's margaritas).

Sunday Brad, Tristan and I hit the beach for a couple hours while Trisha did some grocery shopping, and then that night they had a barbecue (lots of consumption of Brad's margaritas). Monday we watched the Tech game at home until halftime and then went to another friends' house to watch the rest and hang out. It was very relaxing. Tuesday morning we got up really early to take me to the airport and I came hom to Austin.

That's about it. It was really fun, which made it hard to come back. :) I got to see Tristan do all his martial arts stuff, though--it was cute, because even at the beach he was karate-chopping the sand and waves. Ay-uh! :) We briefly talked about going back to Disneyland at Christmas but we'll see.

Flugtag 2007: Hot but fun!

Yes, yes, I realize I fall behind in chronicling my numerous adventures. But seriously, I've been busy!!

Anyhoo, last month my aunt, my cousin, her hubby (my cousin-in-law?), and I went to see this very Austin-y event at Auditorium Shores on Town Lake (or Lady Bird Lake, whatever it is now)--the Red Bull Flugtag.

Let me tell you, it was freakin' HOT. And I don't mean just hellaciously hot, but the air was heavy with humidity too.

Supposedly they were to open the gates at 5 pm, but I have some friends (hi V!) that got there at 4:30 and managed to get a prime spot on the grass near the ramp. So my crew got there at about 5:40 and found what might have been a decent spot except that we wouldn't be able to actually see anything until it fell into the water. My aunt and I ultimately decided that we were also going to get stumbled on as the night wore on, so we made the command decision to move. And thank goodness we did!! We had been fairly close to the lake, and we moved back a little, kind of up the hilly part a bit, and lordy, we could feel a nice breeze!! And we had space, so all the drunk ones wouldn't stumble over us nearly as much. We ended up right near hte stage--we got to see the guy from Jane's Addiction sing the Star Spangled Banner. And we had a good view of the monitor...

And did I mention the nice breeze? Sadly the breeze wasn't enough to help any of the rigs to fly very far, not even the one that was a vacuum cleaner:
It was all fun nonetheless (beer helped) and we left shortly before it ended, crossing the very crowded bridge and heading to Magnolia Cafe for some yummy queso.